Two years ago, I was talking to a friend of mine. He asked me a question that I have pondered in my mind for a while now. His question was this, "What is your definition of 'being a man'?" Now of course being a man can be construed as being born male and being over eighteen. But that is not what was being asked here. The question is a valid one and in our current area I'm sure many of my cohorts would say that David was a prime example of being a man. Strong, fearless, obedient, Godly. Which I agree entirely.
There is more to this question, I think. This desire to 'be a man' as we put it, permeates our society. Big beards, big trucks, concealed weapons, UFC, MMA; all these flood our society. Machoism is alive and well in America and in the church. There is an intense obsession with 'manliness' in our generation. There are websites, books, and YouTube tutorials on 'how to be a man'.
While being manly is all well and good, there is logical and human reason why our generation of Christian men feel the need to look up to facial hair and testosterone. It feels good to be capable of instilling our will on our fellow man, to force them to yield to our strength. Much of modern 'manliness' is really just a power struggle. Its about being the biggest, bulkiest man in the bunch who gets to order the rest of the 'beta' men around. This is frankly the antithesis of Christianity. Becoming strong to force our will upon the world is the exact opposite of Christ's teachings of self-sacrifice. The reason Christians pick David as 'manly' is mainly due to his war record. I've been hard pressed to find anyone in our generation who was obsessed with the manliness of David's poetry. Instead, they all point to his battles, the blood he spilled, as the cause to admire his manliness.
While I do believe that David is a great man; I have another example I prefer to use when answering this question. My incarnation of 'manliness' (excluding Christ Himself) would be Bruce Wayne, aka Batman. I'm not kidding. Well, maybe I am kidding a bit, but bear with me. Although Batman may be fictional, he sets standards that those of us attempting to be manly would do well to follow.
Bruce Wayne is a wealthy man who dedicates his life and fortune to helping those that cannot defend themselves. He does this out of his own pocket, with his own time. He doesn't do it for praise; in fact, no one knows his name. Instead, he personally invests his life in improving his city, Gotham, without accolade and without regard for the status of the person he defends.
Secondly, Batman doesn't force his will upon others; instead his goal is to defend the helpless from that very fate. His goal is to free others to make their own choices; even when those choices are foolish, nefarious, or evil, like those of his rival, the Joker. Although Batman does not believe that the Joker deserves to live, he does not take another life into his own hands. Instead, Batman attempts to free everyone, even those who despise him, to make their own choice. This is exactly what God Himself does for us. He frees us to choose, even when we choose evil. The Joker knows that Batman will never kill him; most of his plots revolve around that assumption. Batman lets Joker make his choice, yet he never condones the evil choices he makes. Batman does all in his power to negate the evil choices of others with the choices he himself makes. He incarnates the ideology that goodness cannot simply kill evil; for in doing so those who thought themselves good become the very bullying, dictatorship of evil they sought to destroy.
While this example of manliness may be a bit satirical, there is more than a grain of truth to it. The form of manliness that Christ shows us embodies this truth as well. Christ allowed everyone to make their own choice about Him; he did not force Himself upon them. He was not a brute, but a healer and defender. He allowed those who mocked Him to do so. He didn't condone the evil around Him; yet He did not force Himself upon them either. He was frank and honest with people, both in praise and condemnation. Yet, in the end, Jesus let both groups make their choice.
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