Loving our Neighbor

For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Galatians 5:14 

This a continuing theme in the Bible, both Old and New Testaments. We are to love our neighbor. But what does that mean? How can we love our neighbor? What does this look like?

Sometimes, when we love our neighbor, we think that means we would let them do whatever they want. This almost ties in with nonresistance if you don't look carefully; but it doesn't, not quite. Instead, we need to realize that sometimes when we love, we have to be honest and even confrontational. Both love and nonresistance are not about avoiding confrontation, but instead doing so in a kind and gentle way. It is much like running a business. If we see some random employee at someone else's company not doing their job or behaving in a nonprofessional manner, we tend to shrug it off as not our problem. But if that was our employee we would be concerned about addressing the situation. Avoiding the problem is not helping the person, addressing is. In the same way, in our interactions with people, we need to address situations without being self-serving or 'holier than thou.' This is a challenging situation. It would actually be much easier if loving our neighbor meant ignoring them, but we cannot do so. Nor should we even desire such a thing. We love ourselves, yet we do not tolerate sloth or evil just because of that. No, we tend to be less lenient with ourselves. I do not mean we should be condemning, not at all. Instead, I am merely suggesting that we should confront in order to help.

"How do we confront without condemning?" you may ask. Well, honestly sometimes confronting is condemning. Sin is wrong and we can't wish that away. However, we need to make sure that the person we are helping is actually being helped by our input. Prayer is vital in these situations, as in all of our Christian existence. We also need to be able to admit that we too are flawed humans who have to go to God for help. We cannot act like we can solve or 'fix' other people; we cannot. Instead, we should lead them to the only source of help we really have - God Himself. So in loving we do confront and sometimes even condemn, but it should always be for the benefit of the person we are interacting with, not for our own.

But what about people who don't want our help? What about those who take offense to any correction at all? This is a tricky situation. We are to help, and that can mean to speak up. That being said, sometimes people have wounds in their past, spiritual or emotional, that they have not addressed. These wounds may even be half-forgotten, visages of a dark time in their past. These types of people, Christians and otherwise, can be very hurt when corrected. It often has little to do with the current situation, but they may lash out at the very person trying to help. Wounded people wound others, the saying goes, and it is quite true. The hurt person may not be able to see or admit that they are hurt, but they are. So what do we do?

We pray. This type of situation cannot be solved by our attempts at helping. No, this is a problem that can and should be brought to the very Person who created them. Very little can be done by mere humans to fix such things. God, the great Physician, can and does heal such wounds, but it is not our place to try to speed things up by creating our own 'home remedies'. We can and should keep these precious brothers and sisters in prayer, but we should remember not to become condescending in our relationship with them. We too have had wounds like these, and it is only by God's grace that we can work through them. So remember, love is also patient.

In the end, loving our neighbor isn't really about ourselves, emotion, confrontation, or even our neighbor. It is about God. His will and provision for us all. If we keep our focus on Him and not just our imaginations of Him, we can indeed love our neighbor.