When Friends Leave

Recently in our church we have had friends leave the Church. This type of thing is always painful, and rarely ends without one side or the other being wounded for a long period of time. Its hard to let people leave, and harder still to stand quietly by as people try to pass the blame from members to ministerial to "just reasons" and is confusing at best. But this leads to a group of questions.

What does it mean when people leave the Church? Are we doing something wrong? Do we need to chase them? Should we plead for them to come back?

Lets take a look at the ministry of Jesus. People left Jesus ministry as well. In John 6:66 we read that many of His former disciples left. What did Jesus do? Did He chase them down? Did He try to compromise?

No, instead Jesus made sure that those who were there were willing to stay. We find a similar story in the life of Gideon. There the ranks of Gideon's army were thinned out and streamlined in order for God's will to be accomplished.

So am I saying now that anyone who leaves the Church is being removed by God? Not at all. It can be that God has someone leave the Church because the Church is teaching heresy; like Martin Luther and the Catholic Church, or Jeremiah in the nation of Judah.  There are cases like this where God leads people out of the Church for a reason.

 So how do we know which is which? How can we tell if those who leave are like Martin Luther, who was following Godly convictions; or if they are like Jesus' disciples, who left when things got hard?

There may not be a solid, one size fits all answer, but there are some things we can check to get a clearer picture.



1. Are they spiritual leaders in the Church?
2. Do they have a clear, moral reason for leaving?
3. Is their walk with God visibly more intimate now that they have left?



If the answers to the above questions are all "no", then we have a reason to believe that those who leave are more like the shallow Jews of Jesus day than like Martin Luther or Jeremiah in Judah.

But if all the answers to the above questions are no, where do we go from there? How do we minister to these friends?

Sadly, we have no more details about Jesus' wandering disciples. Instead, let us turn to the story of the Prodigal Son. The son that left the Father and returned was received with open arms. This is how we should receive a prodigal who returns.

But note, both Jesus and the Father in the parable of the Prodigal Son did not follow those who left. They did not pander to those who left, or even ask for a reason for their leaving. We cannot force people to come to God. We can force them to come back to Church, but we cannot ever force them to follow God's will.

Conclusion

In times of difficulty like this, it is important to remember the most important and useful thing we can possibly do: Pray. Bring it to the Father. We need to remember that they are God's children as well as we are. Our love for our brothers is to be strong, and we are to be as loving as Christ Himself. I pray that God will give us the wisdom to work through challenging times like these.